Well heres my contribution. Havent read the whole thread so im not sure it its been posted before...sorry if it has.
The Brick Layer
Possibly the funniest story, in a long while. This is a
bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
Australian equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board. This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the Accident Report Form. I put 'poor planning' as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six storey building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later,
were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them
in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to
the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block ll of the Accident
Report Form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off
the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downwards at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and a broken collar bone, as listed in
section B of the Accident Report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my
rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side
of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel
coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am
sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to
move. I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope
and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your
enquiry.