The Geoff

Remember that pumping up an LEI puts strain on the stitching. Far better to just leave them uninflated and let the wind blow the kite into shape, NW stylee.

Yeah, because Germany have no reputation for good engineering. What's that coming over the hill, is it a ban hammer again?

It also weighs a fair bit.

The big difference between the 3s and the 4/5s is the AAA system.

They're German, you were looking at the UK distributor, Maxtrack.

Superb, good luck, that's one hell of a challenge. The most interesting bit of the site for me is the entirely new snowkite rig! ->The Rig | 4 People, 6 Legs You've got a proper patentable bit of kit there from the looks of it, bet there's a few able-bodied buggiers who who'd like a go. Hell, I'd like a go...

It's pricey to do properly, unless you get lucky with volunteers who have boats and that. Remember the English Channel is one of the craziest busy bits of water on the planet. Talk to the coastguard, run through scenarios, come up with plans....something that big is quite an undertaking. Sure you could kitesurf around the world with the right backup, just...you know...start small...

By all means, go for it. There's a couple of big crossings up here I'm keen to do, nowt wrong with a huge big open water trek. You'll need, at the very least, a support boat driven by somebody who knows how to pack down, relaunch and change your kite over safely. Ideally you'll also want a nice cruisy board (waveboard?), a radio, flares and anything else that's sensible for off-shore boating. Don't underestimate it, but hell, why not, go for it. The muppet who tried crossing the Red Sea tried doing it completely solo from what I remember, no boat. Dumb idea compounded by the fact that he didn't think it through properly - he didn't even have a visa for landing in a foreign country. I think he ended up becalmed and drifting for about 24 hours before being picked up by the local coastguard/armed forces. Seriously, he was planning to wander up a beach somewhere in a middle eastern country, wearing a wetsuit with a bunch of electronic kit and a bulky buoyancy aid, and go "hey guys!" The aftermath is here: http://forum.kitecrowd.com/kitesurfing/master-kiteboarding-red-sea-cross-rescue-201335.html

I got my back bent over far enough to tear a bunch of muscles. Crash from height while landboarding. I'm sure the big nylon struts in the back of it (it's a high-waist seat harness) stopped anything more important from going snap. You could see the marks in my back where the struts had dug in. I was off work for two weeks, could have been far worse. Protection and support are worth bearing in mind, especially if you've ever had a back problem of any sort.

Yeah, try them on, fit is everything. Waist v seat is very much a preference thing. I prefer a seat, most people go with a waist. If you're lucky enough to have a shop nearby they'll probably have something you can hang from to try them out.

A good old Edinburgh lad. Stunning, stunning video, love the way they shot it.

I keep saying that about Nigg, but nobody listens!

I've got far older gags than that. Don't make me use them.

Mentioned it to a shark expert on Twitter - he'd never heard of kitesurfers and sharks interacting. Reckoned it was about as likely as a surfer being attacked, but I think that as we (well, most of us ) don't spend as much time doing a seal impression, we've probably got an edge. So basically, you need to get into wave riding, hang about with a bunch of tasty, tasty looking surfers. It's like the gag about two hikers who are attacked by a bear. One starts putting trainers on, and the other says "are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear!". His friend replies "I don't have to, I just have to outrun you".

Wrong way round LEIs need the pump (hence I for Inflatable) - LEIs wear out faster than foils and they depreciate in value really quickly. If you're spending good money on an LEI you want it to be one you're going to use regularly. I generally get two or three years out of a kite going out weekly. You'll use a trainer-LEI about 20 times tops, then it'll sit in the shed, and the little ones aren't much cheaper than the big ones. That's the one I'd go for - looks like it'd be a blast as a high-wind buggy kite too.

Yeah, but have you seen his van Andy? It's got a sticker on the back that says "my other car is a van". It's pretty special.

Awesome vid, great to see some proper wave stuff Went out today, 12mph winds and couldn't stay upwind on the twintip, so tried a surfboard for the first time today. One on loan, 5'8" I think. Strapless. First time I've ridden a surfboard, and first time I've ridden anything strapless. Got a few good runs in, and a nice carving turn to toeside. And fell in a lot. Like being a newbie again.

The difference we're talking about is in Balugh's list: Flexi Quark - £150 - fun little kite for the money, easy to sell on. Epic Junior Pro - ~£600 - water relaunchable, but not actually useful on the water, except maybe children. Mastered on land by an adult in a few hours. I repeat, £600. Don't go with a water trainer kite, they're just too specialised, expensive and you'll grow out of it far too quickly. A small, far cheaper, foil that's easy to fly? Most of us still have one for mates or kids to have a go with, or for a giggle in 40mph winds. Spend £100 or so and you'll get something good brand new.

Yeah, but vending machines aren't a risk when you're in the water. Not here anyway, I realise the beaches down south are a bit more commercialised Your risk of shark attacks WHILE IN THE WATER are a fair bit higher than the global average, what with SHARKS LIVING IN WATER AND NOT ON THE LAND. Global averages don't apply. It's exceedingly rare even if you only take "all humans who go in the sea" as the sample though. I know of a single account, I think from one of the Flexi guys, of a shark bothering a kitesurfer. Gave him a couple of nudges and circled him while he was trying to relaunch. He eventually got the kite back up and body-dragged back to shore crapping it if I remember correctly. Can't say I blame him. Still very, very unlikely. I had a seal bob up very close to me today, they can give you a nasty nip.

There's lots of different options: You were probably using a very small LEI (Leading Edge Inflatable) - did you have to pump it up? I'd recommend against buying a true "trainer kite", generally about 5m in area, simply because you won't get much use out of it. They're useful for schools as they have lots of complete newbies coming through, but after a few hours you'll have the hang of it and be ready for a "proper" kitesurfing kite somewhere between 7 and 12m depending on the wind. I'd say either get a proper kitesurfing kite, say a 9m, and take it really easy to start with (ideally with an experienced person helping you out), or go with a small foil (eg the parachute style ones, they frequently come with handles instead of a bar) - foils are much more powerful per square metre, so something in the 3-4m range is a good place to start. You won't be kitesurfing with a foil, but it's a good way to learn kite skills on land. Watch out for gusts if you're flying inland, if your park is surrounded by trees, hills or buildings then it'll probably be gusty, and that's a very good way to get hurt or put off, especially with a big LEI. Best piece of advice possible? Meet up with some local flyers, take some advice and have a go on their kites.

You've got to balance the odds out a bit - there's virtually no chance of being attacked by a shark if you're on land, so the 1-in-200million odds worldwide actually drop to, say 1-in-a-million if you're in water where there are actually sharks. Dying because of a bog standard kitesurfing accident is probably still hundreds of times more likely. If you're really bothered, avoid bright yellow/orange kit (you know, the typical lifejacket colour) - I've heard this referred to as "yum-yum-yellow" as it apparently makes you look tastier to sharks. No idea if there's any truth in it, but if it makes you feel any better... Looks like Sharm may have a particularly bad reputation after one incident in 2010 where multiple people were attacked, likely due to sheep carcasses being dumped in the water: 2010 Sharm el-Sheikh shark attacks - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Board leash is also optional. Personally I'd say don't bother with one and just learn to bodydrag, an invaluable skill that you should get as part of lessons before you even touch a board.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7038/6823276432_f120e6c584_z.jpg Portmahomack. Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pgm2b2/ Claiming fair use given the effort I went to

I think we're a bit off-track here. What's needed isn't a van, it's just not quick enough. What you need is a light aircraft of some description, then you can get to wherever the wind is, UK-wide, in only a few hours. The Cessna 152 is a classic, but consider the 172, there's an extra couple of seats in the back which could be useful.

That's all very painful. Brilliant, but painful.