Dr-Manic Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 well i was flying near an airfield when my 25m frenzy got snagged on a jet plane. Iwas doing some wicked mid air tricks at 15000 feet when a gust caught me i had a major obe but managed a parra style roll on landing I died but the kite landed ok and the buggy impaled itself on my head:eek: Quote
tttonyyy1599968643 Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 Huh, I was flying my 10 kite stack of 16 hectar Frenzy '12s, when a freak 1mph gust pull me straight up out of the atmosphere where I got severe sunburn, caught the solar wind, did some big 125km jumps before my blood boiled off and my head exploded. Then I got thrown out of the solar system, accellerated up to the speed of light, catapulted around alpha centuri and spent 10 years travelling across deep space, only to have to tack back into the sun with no arms and no legs, my torso burn to a crisp and riddled with holes from space debris, just and post on this forum. And I didn't lose the kite. You wimps! Quote
Adrena1in Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 That's just child's play tttonyyy! I own the original "Earth Blanket". This is a bit like the shape of those kiteship foils, except it's a) Big enough to cover the planet earth, and b) Weighs minus several million tons I wondered once what would happen if I tried to use it as a kite. I attached some lines with an infinite breaking strain and launched the foil. In a billionth of a second I'd accelerated away from the earth at a million times the speed of light. (And Einstein said it wasn't possible! Pah!) I was instantly vapourised into my component atoms, but I held on (somehow) and within seconds I was outside the galaxy, still accelerating! I relaxed and rode the dark matter between galaxies, and very soon every single galaxy disappeared behind me, and I was heading towards the edge of the universe...to the edge of known space. And then I hit it. I passed through the edge of the universe. And it was milk. Quote
Jules B. Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 i was jumping with my blade and grazed my ass. i had to wear a bandage and a dress for weeks and cried myself to sleep every night. it was looking really bad and because of its bad location i had to get someone to change my dressing everyday. but because of its hideous appearance no-on wanted to get close to it. it also started smelling a bit so my wife left me with the kids and i lost my job. she had only left me with my car and watch and my pretty dress which i still had to wear all the time. so eventually i hired a prostitute to do it for me but after the first time she ran away with my money, watch and car and did not even change the dressing for me. living on the streets by now my injury was getting worse and worse. the other bums on the street did not want to talk to me on account of me smelling and wearing a pretty dress and i could not find another job. that is when i was introduced to Frankie a blind hermaphrodite who lived as a he-she whore pimp, and gave me employment in his brothel cleaning up after the customers with my tongue. in return she got Angel, a gay 17 stone ex boxer who dressed as an angel and performed sick love rituals with old men at the brothel, to change my dressing. eventually i became one of his bitches and would entertain the crowds by dancing at the brothel in my pretty dress while old men would grope me and have their wicked way and started going by the name of Sweet Cheeks. so now i have a job and a new life and i owe it all to kiting!!! Quote
Ri chie Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 But this thread is nearly 2 years old!!! Ri chie Quote
XR33GTS Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 But this thread is nearly 2 years old!!! Ri chieNah it's not. My Blade9 33.33recurring, is so heavy it's created it's own Black hole, bending both Space and Time, so that Yesterday Is/Was Tomorrow's/Today's Today and Tommorow INSTANTANEOUSLY. This is what happens whe Flexifoil spend too much time developing kites...... Edit - And I nearly died twice and now have 3 legs, each 200 miles long..... Anyone got a bed to fit? Quote
bushflyer Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 my unborn child was flying the new flexifoil needle in the middle of the atlantic in the typhoon while kitesurfing in 200mph winds and managed a quintuple kiteloop before sticking a surface handlepass to board on his head. hes something that boy... :) while watching him my testes exploded from the level of stokedness:rolleyes: Quote
cassiewoofer Posted September 27, 2004 Report Posted September 27, 2004 ok i've had a few beers but i did find this rather amusing!!!!!!!! Quote
Blazingskibum Posted September 29, 2004 Report Posted September 29, 2004 Flew a stack consisting of my entire quiver of Blades plus 2 Bego 600's(50sq meters) in hurrican Ivan. Got lofted and ended up on the moon! I had to wait for a comet to slam into the moon so I could launch and ride the shock wave back to earth. Upon reentry my entire stack burned up as well as the soles of my boots(which by the way are forever melted into the soles of my feet, I may never have to buy sandals again). When I landed I cut my finger(just a little nick, not to bad, just something like a small paper cut, but boy does it sting like hell). When I had started out I had forgotten my helmut and I really should have worn it this outing because I hit my head on the ground when I landed. This impact cracked my skull open and my brain fell out. Well I picked up my brain and brushed the dirt off it but I couldn't get it back in my skull(I think it kinda likes being out of that little dark room ). So now I just carry it around with me in a shoebox. Ah the epic tales of woe and adventure that we kiters endure. Big kites...Big Smiles Quote
benleeds126 Posted September 29, 2004 Report Posted September 29, 2004 Couple of months ago flew in gusty conditons. A gust hit my kite and it pulled me forward into a superman position and i landed hard. I nearly broke my leg luckily anough i idn't. My leg swelled up and turned Black and Blue. (STILL RECOVERING NOW) Quote
kiting mad Posted September 29, 2004 Report Posted September 29, 2004 i was flying a pkd buster altra lift 26.5 mtr wen a gust of 400 mph hit me i was luanched in to a super man position and landed on my head i went all the way to china ! Quote
tttonyyy1599968643 Posted September 30, 2004 Report Posted September 30, 2004 scrub loin canyon board Dude, you don't want to be doing that! Quote
Withnal Posted September 30, 2004 Report Posted September 30, 2004 I was flying my Blade 10.5 metre in a nice steady breeze, about 7 mph when two RAF jets decided to do a low level flyby. Unfortunately for me the kite was hit by the jetwash from the afterburners and I was lofted a good 500 feet into the air. Whilst I was up their I realised to my amazement that I still had my board attached to my feet so I decided to pull of a few tricks on the one way down. Managed to get quite a few rotations, invented a new trick called the helicopter, the most impressive being a board off coupled with 14 consecutive kiteloops, boy was I dizzy. I was quite disorientated when I hit the ground, landed on my head, worst part being I snapped it clean off my shoulders. Luckily an ice cream van was nearby and he stuck my head in the freezer and drove me to the local hospital. They used a pioneering new technology on me and managed to rebuild my neck vertebrae using carbon fibre and aircraft grade aluminum. In the guinness book of record's now for being the first person to do 14 consecutive kite loops and also having a steel neck. I must remember not to fly on the deck of an aircraft carrier in future. And before anybody picks me up on it, yes there was an ice cream van in the middle of the sea, it was one of those amphibious things. Quote
nolan Posted September 30, 2004 Report Posted September 30, 2004 I flew my 1.4m Buster in 0.27mph winds and fu(k-all happened. I was ready to pack up and go home when a bus full of gnomes arrived and covered me in custard. Cheeky ba$tards didn't even offer to wind my lines for me. Next thing I knew I was orbiting Alpha centauri without my harness and heading for a very large asteroid. Luckily the custard kept me nourished until I landed on an undiscovered star. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I woke up in my own bed. Bloody lucky escape if you ask me. Quote
BulletProof Posted September 30, 2004 Report Posted September 30, 2004 i jumped off everest underneath my flexi super dooper 1000....this would all have been fine but i landed in a bowl of fruit cake mix, was draged under by a strong currant and drowned a doughy death Quote
nolan Posted September 30, 2004 Report Posted September 30, 2004 i jumped off everest underneath my flexi super dooper 1000....this would all have been fine but i landed in a bowl of fruit cake mix, was draged under by a strong currant and drowned a doughy death Don't expect any sympathy, those Super Doopers can be deadly in a baking environment. You need to fly a Yeasty Supreme 4.75698899558m in such conditions, anything else would be sheer lunacy. Quote
tttonyyy1599968643 Posted October 1, 2004 Report Posted October 1, 2004 Don't expect any sympathy, those Super Doopers can be deadly in a baking environment. You need to fly a Yeasty Supreme 4.75698899558m in such conditions, anything else would be sheer lunacy. Fallacy! Most would argue that the Yeasty Supreme 4.75698899557m would be more suitable in a mountainous baking envornment due to the reduced lift. I'm constantly amazed how those new to the sport suggest a kite that is 0.00000000001 square meters to large! If he'd taken the larger kite out, he could've seriously injured himself and possibly those around him, bringing kite flying (in a mountainous baking environment) into disrepute! Quote
Spook Posted October 1, 2004 Report Posted October 1, 2004 and landed on my head This does explain a few things..... Quote
kiting mad Posted October 1, 2004 Report Posted October 1, 2004 This does explain a few things..... oi checky Quote
cj-bungatrot Posted October 2, 2004 Report Posted October 2, 2004 Haha, you guys are lightweights. When I was out last week, flying my 95.7945m Windows 98 depower kite, unhooked in 70mph wind gusting to 845.81 mph, it nearly crashed. I recovered it though, just in time, but it went through the centre of the window and ripped my arms off. I was able to control it with my arms luckily, using my teleikinetic powers. I was eventually able to land it on USS Kittyhawk. I would tell you how far it went, but I'm not allowed to for security reasons. Quote
KevinRoulson Posted October 2, 2004 Report Posted October 2, 2004 yeah, pretty good accounts but none of you have tried a tornado. I did, and boy oh boy, amazing lift, even to get my 2ton furnace creek of the ground (not to mention my 5 ton bodyweight). Had to travel to florida for the tornados but saved on the flight back due to all that amazing lift. (got in some pretty good loops and spins, though, unforunately, barfed an awful lot. Helmet managed to collect most of it) even landed in good old blighty. Even better, managed to land in the back garden, Gutted to find that my cat had invited all her mates around and enjoying my absense (and my Bud!). Major scratch injuries chucking them all out though and now wearing them proudly! Now off for a weeks rest on Jupiter where I hear the winds are pretty good around the red spot....... Quote
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