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Posted

One nun says to the other 'The friction of me rubbing 'down there' :rolleyes: causes the soap to wear out doesn't it?'

(Where's the soap?')

 

'Yes, one rather agrees that it does indeed cause the soap to wear out.'

(Yes, it does doesn't it?) :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

That's funnier than the original joke :D

Posted

Two old blokes chatting in a pub, one turns to the other and says, "My dog's a blacksmith" The other bloke, a bit taken aback by this incredulous statement, tells him to stop spouting utter tosh and prove it. Said bloke calls his dog over, lights a match under his balls and sure enough, the dog makes a bolt for the door.......

Posted
Two old blokes chatting in a pub, one turns to the other and says, "My dog's a blacksmith" The other bloke, a bit taken aback by this incredulous statement, tells him to stop spouting utter tosh and prove it. Said bloke calls his dog over, lights a match under his balls and sure enough, the dog makes a bolt for the door.......

 

haha pmsl

 

 

two chavs street racing on a cliff

the both fall to their deaths

who wins the race?

 

 

 

 

 

society:p

Posted
[

 

two chavs street racing on a cliff

the both fall to their deaths

who wins the race?

 

 

 

 

 

society:p

 

Don't start me on chav jokes....

 

 

Why is a Nova with two chavs in it, driving over a cliff, a tragedy?

 

 

 

 

 

A Nova seats 5

Posted

A Smartie's sitting in a pub having a quiet pint with his mate Malteser, when Tune walks in. Smartie dives under the table, shaking uncontrollably. Malteser, being a bit concerned asks Smartie what's up? Smartie replies that he's absolutely pertrified of Tune. Malteser, who thinks that Tune is really a nice guy, asks Smartie why

 

Because, says Smartie, he's really menthol

Posted

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder

of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

Posted
[

 

two chavs street racing on a cliff

the both fall to their deaths

who wins the race?

 

 

 

 

 

society:p

 

Don't start me on chav jokes....

 

 

Why is a Nova with two chavs in it, driving over a cliff, a tragedy?

 

 

 

 

 

A Nova seats 5

 

haha i love it

 

what u call a chav on the moon?

 

 

a problem

 

whatu call 2 chavs on the moon

 

a major problem

 

 

what u call all the chavs on the moon??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

problem solved

Posted

Three parrots sitting in a cage.

 

Tom is near the top of the cage, Harry is around the middle and George is hanging around near the the bottom.

 

Which parrot owns the cage?

 

George - the rest are on higher perches

Posted

bloke walks into a brothel,lays on the bed and reads a sign on the ceiling.

 

 

 

full sex £50

oral sex£40

hand job £10

cheese roll 50p.

 

a big ,fat sweaty bird walks in,and asks him what he would like.

 

"who does the hand job" he asks

"me" she replies

he pauses for thought then replies

 

"well wash your hands luv,ill havea cheese roll"

:D :D

Posted

two unemployed irishmen , gerald fitzpatrick and patrick fitzgerald,were walking past some woodland,when they saw a sign saying ,

 

tree fellers required,excellent rates of pay.

 

gerald turns to patrick and says,

 

"now tats a damn shame pat, if only seamus was with us we could've applied for that"

Posted

on a roll now!!!!!!

 

bloke walks into a pub,leans up against the bar waiting to be served.

sees a bowl of peanuts and takes a handfull the the bowl of peanuts then say to him "your looking very handsome tonight sir"

the bloke looks at the bowl in disbelief, when it says to him,

" and you smell very nice as well sir"

 

feeling a bit odd the fella decides to freshen up,as he walks to the gents he passes a fag machine,which says to him,

"oi mate your f*****G ugly"

he frehens up in the lav then ,on passing the fag machine on the way back the fag machine says

"you smell like s**t too"

standing at the bar looking quite confused,the barman notices him and says,

"its allright mate,the peanuts are complimentary,but the fag machines out of order"

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