Work, life balance!

[Spielson]

...just had a row with the Mrs bout me spending too much time kite boarding and not with her and the kids ....I went looking for a reality check online to see if she could be right, ridiculous I know...but maybe I do have a problem.......

 

This was written for surfing, but is pretty true of KS / KLB too.

 

1. It turns you into a moron, only interested in one thing. Think about it. Anyone who's interested in one thing only is BORING! This is a universal truth, therefore you are in danger of being really ****ing boring.

2. It makes you selfish. Yes, whether you admit it or not – your obsession with surfing comes first. You'll miss work, play and quality time with friends; time you could spend helping people who need help; time you could spend making yourself a better person. You will leave wonderful girlfriends/boyfriends because they 'just don't get it'; you will cause pain and anger to your parents or spouse; you will miss key moments in your childrens' upbringing and important moments in the last years of your parents' lives. This stuff is irreplaceable, but it's ok, you got barreled again, dude.

3. You will start using words like 'dude', 'sucks', 'going off', 'sick', 'mate' and a host of other perversions of the English language, no matter where you're from. Balinese, Russian, Australian, French, Cornish – everyone succumbs eventually/occasionally and we all sound like twats. That's because the original perversions mostly came from California and Australia and twats in those countries don't know they sound like twats. We just absorb the twat-**** that these people have spread through their economic and psychological control of the sub culture. To any sane human being, we sound like twats and that's that.

4. We get arrogant because we think surviving a big drop or making a tube or riding Uluwatu or our home break or any ****ing thing to with surfing makes us somehow better human beings than other human beings. It doesn't. We are as good human beings as we are good human beings, regardless if we surf or not. Male surfers buy into the myth that they're cool because chicks – who are as simple and dirty as guys underneath all the pretence – find surfers' body-shapes and tans horny – in much the same way men find strippers automatically horny. ('Wow! They've got tits!') Doesn't make male surfers great people. Female surfers think they're great because so few women surf that they get off on being a step above fellow members of their gender. In many subtle and truly shallow ways, being a surfer makes us think we're fantastic. And we're not. Unless of course we are – but that's an entirely different story.

5. Surfing is dangerous. Skin cancer, surfers' ear, staph infections, spinal injuries, shoulder and lower back wear, red eyes/pterygiums, shark attack, pollution exposure, damaged hair and water on the brain that makes you stupid.

6. You will waste time and you will waste fuel. Both time and fuel are money, so you will waste money, too. You will stare at computer screens for hours when you're not surfing, wishing you were surfing, looking for a hit in some sad vicarious form, planning your next surfing excursion and dreaming of ones you can't afford. Later you will drive around looking for waves and checking spots just around the corner or, **** it, 500 miles drive away just because you're a radical dude and you want to impress your friends with how hardcore you are. If there's no rideable surf there, or if it isn't as good as the surf you just left, you'll happily drive back and surf that. You waste hours of time, gallons of fuel and therefore uncountable amounts of money. And did we mention – you add carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that probably wouldn't be there if you weren't a surfer?

7. Your whole 'close to nature' vibe is only a skin you wear when it suits you, unless you really are someone that cares about nature and maybe even does something about protecting it. You don't automatically qualify as one of those people just because you're a surfer.

8. You are a colonialist. Might as well buy a pith helmet right now. You'll fly to foreign shores and not, probably, give a damn about understanding, integrating or having any awareness whatsoever about the impact your presence has on the destination community/culture. Not your problem, mate. You're just there to surf.

9. Surfing will start to make you think idiots are heroes. People who take huge amounts of drugs, drink like lunatics and drive rental cars like assholes suddenly become worthy of your respect because they're often the same people who take off late on huge waves and pull into giant tubes and get spat out. Watch out for this. They could still be assholes. 10. It's a beautiful thing, but you need to be careful to retain your sense of right and wrong, good and bad, time and place etc. Surf culture is fuelled by commercial interests that know no depths. In their search for sales, they will say anything and sponsor anyone to promote their products. Just because you love the sensation of riding breaking waves, don't let these things turn you into a twat. taken from here. 10 Reasons Surfing Sucks – Agree to Disagree TSP94 | Agree to Disagree, Featured Content, Features | Surfers Path

[mick]

I agree virtually 100% with whats been said here and I have only one word of comment. So what?

[testpilotpete]

Then balance your hobbies better? Yer some people get wrapped in one thing but if you enjoy why not

[aarde landings]

sounds like it was written by a bitter wife at a particular day in the month.

 

with Mick. So what?

[SonnyRider]

I gave up reading after point 1. I CBA with reading that dross

 

Isn't relationships about sharing life? Sure you may want to go kiting more than she wants. But, really? WTF! Does she tell everything you can & can't do?

Do you do the same to her?

The person who is selfish is the person trying to stop you from enjoying your life, or your hobby. Your life doesn't stop just because she says so . ..

 

 

Does it?

 

if it does, then you have four options

1> Get her into a hobby she likes

2> Do as you are told

3> Get her into kiting, or make a day out of it . . .

4> Divorce and live happily ever after

[broraboyan]

Once a week is more than enough, I've had a few rows about this topic, I don't go to the pub that is a major plus, not a football or rugby fan. I work when it there and when I'm not I'll spend it with family, but if the winds there I will use it :-) every one needs there fix, I don't care who it is, they need there fix and mine is kitesurfing oh and I get hell of a grumpy if I don't get out. Keeps me off the streets ;-)

[mick]

OK A little bit of ME history. Married twice. First time for 25 yrs and no kids. 2nd time 4 yrs and 2 kids. The one thing both of my Wives accepted was my need to get away. Before kiting it was poledancing. The present Mrs D has absolutely no qualms about losing me for a couple of days every week. How did I achieve this balance. Easy. Be such a msrble **** that they're glad to see the back of you. .

 

Seriously, my Wife does her thing which is gym, bingo, shopping and I do mine. She really does like to see me get away. And we are a devoted family.

[creed]

Mine checks the forecast and tide times before making plans, other wise we have problems!

[Dragnfly]

I would refer you to this short film for reference, maybe it will help?

 

The Surfer - YouTube

http://is.gd/scfFVx

 

 

Anyways, it totally depends on your cirmstances. How many kids have you got? How much time do you spend with them? How often do you kite? How long do you work? Other hobbies? Watching football, at the pub, etc.. etc etc..

 

I'm lucky and can grab it when its hot (flexitime is a wonderful thing), usually at times when if I wasn't kiting, I'd be working - so the Mrs doesn't miss me, and the kids are at nursery. So, I don't often kite at weekends, unless I've not been out for a couple of weeks and need an urgent fix.

 

Like Brora, I don't tend to go out with mates, don't watch football etc, so anytime I am not working or kiting, I'm with the kids and I love doing that too - I'm hoping they will want me to take them kiting in a couple of years! Oh, I might go biking for a couple of hours every now and again, or down the wakepark if theres no wind for ages.

 

I try to get a fix a week. If I'm lucky I might get 2.

 

I also try to be as flexible as possible - I'm usually on the water by 8am (6am set off from home), and aim to be home by 12 (its usually 1ish though) grabbing about 2.5/3 hours on the water - so can still spend a good chunk of time with the groms (of which I have 3 by the way, aged 2 and 2x3yrs, so looking after them on your own is bloody hard work).

 

If I had no kids I would spend a hell of a lot more time doing my thing and to hell with the Mrs, she could fend for herself. If I had one kid I'd still spend a lot more time doing my thing as its easy to look after one kid, and I'd be happy to look after the kid myself for the same length of time in return, so the mrs could do her thing. 2 kids would start to make it a bit more difficult to get away with - and 3 kids, well, I wouldn't recommend it, and its not hugely enjoyable looking after all 3 on your own and can turn you into an enraged psychopath in next to no time if they gang up on you.

 

Well thats my tuppence.

Watch the video, see how you would like yours to end?

[Dragnfly]

OK A little bit of ME history. Married twice. First time for 25 yrs and no kids. 2nd time 4 yrs and 2 kids. The one thing both of my Wives accepted was my need to get away. Before kiting it was poledancing. The present Mrs D has absolutely no qualms about losing me for a couple of days every week. How did I achieve this balance. Easy. Be such a msrble **** that they're glad to see the back of you. .Seriously, my Wife does her thing which is gym, bingo, shopping and I do mine. She really does like to see me get away. And we are a devoted family.

 

This also works a treat.

[mick]

Or go the other way where normal people get sick of seeing your happy smiling face all the time. It works for me.

[SonnyRider]

Blah, blah and lots more

 

Well thats my tuppence.

Watch the video, see how you would like yours to end?

 

Shame there is no like button

[mick]

You know, I rarely watch vids all the way thro but this was like so many I know. Great. Me and him could be mates.

[tedatwgs]

great vid. I watched it all- and to my suprise the my friends mate looks like he was the cameraman. Small world!