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As soon people may have noticed KiteATB.co.uk have had some issues today that were beyond our control, and that our hosts have now fixed at their end. The changes made will need time to propogate so it may be a gradual comeback for people (i.e you may be able to access it but your mate won't) Cheers Neil KiteATB.co.uk

Well you know what people say about everything. 'it's always good to start young'.

When Shane and Simone first got married Shane said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 10 years of marriage, Simone had never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 10th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and shelifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and £81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Simone could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?" Shane thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Simone was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened by your behaviour. However, since you are addicted to sex, I guess it does happen, and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem." Shane thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Simone asked Shane, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Shane answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash."

Now i know you may be feeling pretty low, but is a euthanism really the answer ? :) ( sorry couldnt resist that one )

not too sure about that! my surfer is pretty stable at low speeds! just practise! doubled strapped so the footstraps are symetric. its big yeah but bigger wheels are such an advantage. as for overweight, my racer comes in at 6.5 kg. lighter than most four wheelers!

Whatever you do behind closed doors is up to you however please do not broadcast your bizarre behaviour on a public forum.

loose the 'nrdy txt spk' and maybe you might get some more replies. and save some cash up you tight bstd.

It was me.go in the water at 8 wind was strong and cross with a bit of ofshore took two runs out and back and came back to the same place.towards 9 30 or 9 45 started to think about coming in but ended up to close to the point so i did another run out to try to come back with more room to get to the beach i came back on the wrong side of the piont then had a lack of wind tryed to get some power in the kite but it would only power up in the center of the window taking me down wind ,and as the land to my left drops back in land i was getting further out,it was at this time that i could only drop the kite and swim with gear back to the nearest beach.as i started to make my way in using my feet and holding board and kite with arms the life boat moroons went up, i thought the life boat would be straight out to me but the light was going ,more life boats turned up and then the police helicopter twice i thought they had spotted me but they turned and started looking else whereso i knew i had to keep going for the shore 4 and a half hours later i got to the beach and phoned the coast guard ,went back to my kite and board and the helicopter spotted me ,police ambulance and coast guard were as pleased to see me as i was to see them.from what they said they were starting to think i had been in the water to long and hopes were fadding one chap said "you should not be here"i won't forget that.they took me to hospital for checks my body temp was 35 mild hipothermea, but all ok 30min and i was back to 36 wrapped in a foil blanket 37.somthing when i left at about 5.All above threads are more or less wright and deserved apart from If he had drowned it would stop the idiot polluting the gene pool further. Knobhead.4.5 hours in the water in the dark all my own fault i know but you think alot drowning came in and out of my thoughts as i cought the odd mouth full of salt water,near the beach i had to make an efort to hold my head up but it was temping to let it rest on the kite but when i did that i started to slow down.the things that came into my head over the 4.5 hours were thoughts you may never have unless you are in the same situation AND I HOPE YOU NEVER ARE.BIG SORRY TO EVERY ONE. I KNOW IT WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR KITESURFING THE SAME AS ACCIDENTS ARE NOT.CAN'T THANK THE SEVICES ENOUGH THEY DID NOT FIND ME BUT THEM LOOKING FOR ME MADE SURE I WAS NOT ALONE OUT THERE AND THANKS TO WHO EVER RAISED THE ALARM.I AM GOING TO TRY TO FIND OUT WHO IT WAS TO THANK THEM, AND WILL BE MAKING A DONATION TO THE RNLI AND GOING TO THANK THE PEOPLE INVOLVED.I made a mistake a wrong judgement thats all it takes to put you that situation.

Apparently if you put enough alcohol in your kite then it thinks it has a much stronger pulling power...........

A man went into pub with his octopus, sat the octopus down on a bar stool, and proceeded to tell everyone in the pub that his octopus was very talented, and could, in fact, play any musical instrument in the world. Everyone in the pub laughed at the man, calling him an idiot. Undaunted, the man said that he would wager £50 against anyone who had an instrument that the octopus could not play. Luckily, one customer happened to have a guitar and, having shaken hands on the bet, gave the instrument to the octopus, which immediately started playing better then Jimi Hendrix, (not that such a feat would be very difficult). The guitar man reluctantly parted with a £50 note. Another man, who happened to have a trumpet, made the same wager, and this time the octopus played the trumpet better then Louis Armstrong. Another £50 changed hands. Then a Scotsman came into the pub carrying some bagpipes, and, learning about the wager on offer, accepted the bet, and put the bagpipes on the bar close to the octopus, which fumbled with them for a few minutes, and then sat back on his bar stool with a confused look. "Ha!" the Scotsman said triumphantly, "Ye canny play it, can ye?" The octopus looked at him, and replied, "Play it? I`m going to shag it as soon as I work out how to remove its pyjamas."

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 20 success is . . . going all the way. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 60 success is . . going all the way. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

I managed a new one last night:rolleyes: . Get up to about 25mph with a 4.5 Razor, then, as you're about to turn, loose concentration, and let the kite get behind you. Never left a buggy as quickly before in my life:eek: . Not big, not clever, but made the G/F laugh... Andy.

If he had drowned it would stop the idiot polluting the gene pool further. Knobhead.